Corny jokes

What sound does a Low Orbital Ion Cannon make?
ping ping ping ping!

How did the programmer escape jail?
\jail

More accurate version:
How did the programmer escape 'jail'?
\'jail\'

Nerd1: How's your girl?
Nerd2: Do you know why you can't know the exact position and velocity of an electron at an instant in time?
Nerd1: Heisenberg's uncertainty principle.
Nerd2: ...
Nerd1:  Because your observation interferes with the situation and alters the outcome.
Nerd2: Yes.
Nerd1: I see.
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helloworld

:D